Bleach: Love Society
by kanker soar
Summary: oneshot anthology Because behind the scenes, Soul Society was one big love society. 1. Hitsugaya and Yachiru go on a little playdate.


Hiyo, I'm Kanker Soar, it's nice to meet you all. This is my first Bleach fanfic, a oneshot anthology inspired from the CourtofpureSouls website, I hope you enjoy!

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**B l e a c h : L o v e S o c i e t y**

**Summary: (**oneshot anthology) Because behind the scenes, Soul Society was one big love society. (1. Hitsugaya and Yachiru go on a little playdate.)

**Rating**: T/PG-13

**Genre**: Humor/Romance

Standard disclaimer applied.

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**Chapter 1: Playground Love**

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"No. Absolutely not."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes, dammit, Hitsugaya!" Zaraki Kenpachi roared at the young tenth company captain.

"I'm not babysitting her," the white-haired teen said stubbornly. "Take care of your own pet monkey."

"I am _not _a monkey!" A small head popped up from behind the large man and glared at Toshiro reproachfully. "I am the vice-captain of the eleventh company!"

"Yeah, whatever," Hitsugaya drawled, turning around. "I've got better things to do."

And a hell butterfly conveniently decided to flutter gracefully to the gap between Hitsugaya and Kenpachi.

_"Hitsugaya, Yachiru. Your new assignment is to go to the mortal world, where a particularly difficult hollow will make its appearance."_

His eyes narrowed dangerously as he spun around slowly to face a smirking eleventh company captain. "You planned this."

Kenpachi grinned ferally. "Maybe, maybe not."

"Yay!" Yachiru jumped of Kenpachi's shoulders, landing on the ground. "Me and Shiro are going on a playdate!"

Hitsugaya gritted his teeth. "It is _not _a playdate. It's a mission."

"Whatever," Yachiru chirped. "Let's go!"

And then, the small girl leaped onto his back with amazing speed, nearly knocking him over.

"What the – get off my back!" he growled. "I'm not your keeper!"

"But… but…" Her lower lip trembled.

"Hitsugaya…" Kenpachi growled threateningly.

The said captain retaliated with a steely glare, but he knew that Kenpachi was capable of. Especially when it came to Yachiru and her happiness.

He muttered a couple of profanities under his breath and started walking, Yachiru latched onto his back.

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"Isn't that 10th company Captain Hitsugaya Toshiro?"

"Yeah, why is the vice-captain of the 11th company on his back?"

Hitsugaya closed his eyes. _Count from one hundred backwards, all the way to one_, Matsumoto would tell him.

But then again, it was she that broke a man's collarbone in five places when he called her fat without a second thought.

There was a snigger as Yachiru waved cheerfully at the civilians from Hitsugaya's back.

_'One hundred…'_

Someone pointed a finger at him whispered to another person in a hushed tone. But Hitsugaya could see the _laugh_ in his eyes.

_'Ninety-nine…'_

Children passing by laughed openly at the sight of a captain piggybacking a tiny monkey. Yes, Yachiru was a damn monkey with the protection of one of the most feared people in Soul Society.

Just his luck. Involuntarily, his fingers twitched toward his zanpakuto.

_'Ninety-eight…'_

More giggles and laughs and fingers pointed his way.

_'Ninety… screw this.'_

"Sit upon the frosted Heavens, Hyourinmaru!"

Yachiru remained blissfully oblivious throughout this whole thing.

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"Finally… here…" Hitsugaya muttered, nearly collapsing on the swing set. Damn, for a small girl, Yachiru was heavy.

The burden clinging onto his back finally jumped onto the swings. "Thanks for the ride!" She chirped cheerfully.

"You are one heavy monkey," He replied sullenly.

Yachiru's eyes flashed. "What did you say?" She snarled.

Before he could even react, she'd hit the back of his head with a _lot _of force.

Damn it, she punched like a flipping rhino.

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"Push me."

"No."

"C'mon!"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeease?"

"No."

"Do it or I'll make sure Kenny skins you alive, guts you and sells your innards as prizes, and uses your bones to carve a new chair for me."

"…Fine."

He got behind her and pushed lazily with his index and middle finger.

And… the swing didn't budge.

What in the name of God? This girl really was heavy.

"You're really weak," Yachiru commented cheerily. "Kenny can push with a finger and I'll go _flying!_"

"It's not my fault you're heavy," he retorted.

BAM!

Yachiru and her fist of the rhino strikes again. _Dingdingdingding – _

_Home run!_

In no time, Yachiru was flying high up into the air with Toshiro trying desperately to keep Miss Monkey-Rhino satisfied.

That bruise was going to last a while.

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"I'm hungry!" She announced, jumping off the swing while it was still up high. Hitsugaya, sighing in relief, forgot all about the swing that was still in motion.

BAM!

_Knockout! SuperSwing© wins! Toshiro Hitsugaya loses! GAME OVER!_

Yachiru laughed unabashedly as a swing – a freaking swing – hit the poor victim of this story in the gut, sending him flying.

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"I'm still hungry."

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Lord save poor Hitsugaya Toshiro.

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"It's late," he muttered.

"No it's not!" She replied, taking a bite out of her giant cookie. "It's only four."

"Not like that. It was supposed to be here _two hours ago_."

"Time flies quickly!" She commented, taking another bite out of the cookie.

"That's because _you're _the one eating the cookie and _I'm _the one buying _all of them_." He snarled through gritted teeth.

"What do you mean?" She asked innocently, finishing what would be her three thousand eighty-fourth cookie.

Not that he kept track of how many uber cookies she bought using _his _money.

"Can I have another – "

"No."

She pouted. "Please?"

"No. Where's that damn Hell Butterfly? I'm going back." He stood up from the seesaw, wading from what seemed to be an endless lake of cookie wrappers.

As if on cue, a Hell Butterfly fluttered toward him and dropped to the ground, split in half.

"Hell Butterflies are unreliable," a disembodied voice rumbled. "Why use Hell Butterflies when you can always switch to the network with fewest dropped calls?"

Yachiru blinked. "That was… corny."

"I HAVE COME!" A hollow jumped down onto the swings, crushing it completely.

Yachiru blinked again. "Is that… a mic?"

"YES!" The monster roared. "I am… one of the most feared hollows around!"

"One that carries around a mic," Hitsugaya deadpanned. "Are you kidding me?"

"And we use verizon!" Yachiru added.

"That's a lot of cookies you're eating, little missy. Are you sure you're not going to gain a lot of weight?" The hollow asked offhandedly, twirling his mic around.

"WHAAAAAAAT?!"

_Enter Yachiru's Double Rhino Strike©! One hit KO! You lose! Dingdingdingding – please try again!_

A muscle jumped in Hitsugaya's jaw as Yachiru and the weird hollow began throwing corny jokes, insults, and puns at each other vehemently.

_'One hundred… ninety-nine… ninety-eight… screw this.'_

"_ENOUGH! _Sit upon the frosted Heavens, Daiguren Hyourinmaru!!!"

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"You shouldn't have frozen over the whole playground," Yachiru commented mildly. "I was going to come here again next week."

The hollow had fled just in time before Hitsugaya had slashed at it. Although the beast was still out there unscathed, the poor playground had been turned to an icy wasteland.

"Whatever," he muttered.

"I want a cookie," she whined.

He foresaw this. Which is why he had bought more uber cookies in advance.

"Here," he grunted, reaching over his shoulder and shoving the cookie in her face. Hopefully, her mouth would be too full of cookie for her to keep chattering on and on.

Or… not.

"Let's have a playdate again! How about next week?"

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"Fine. But you've got to lose some weight first."

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"So…" A shadow appeared next to him and the huge hand of Zaraki Kenpachi clamped down onto his shoulder. "I hear you called Yachiru _fat_."

Oh Lord. That stupid monkey and his keeper.

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Thanks for reading, be sure to review!


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